


If You Give A Vole An Ikri Bun

by dolphinchick



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Adopted Children, Cardassian translations of Terran children's literature, Garak has a tail, Garashir - Freeform, Garashir Babies, I just really love the fat baby, M/M, Post-Canon, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but the tail isn't really featured, except for in the artwork that inspired the story, fat baby is best baby, garashir with children, garashir's fat adopted baby, the ending is verbally suggestive but blink and you'll miss it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:54:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26723959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dolphinchick/pseuds/dolphinchick
Summary: Garak has baby duty and finds his options of literary exchange wanting.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 5
Kudos: 54





	If You Give A Vole An Ikri Bun

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by some absolutely lovely art I commissioned from the talented prose-and-scripts over on tumblr of her reimagined Garak and original baby character, included (hopefully) at the end of the story. The other two original child characters also feature in this work but are not included in the image. 
> 
> I realized, belatedly, that Rowling is problematic now. But I figure J.K. is long dead by the late 2300s and no matter how hard Disney may try, Harry Potter's in the public domain. Figurative and literal death of the author and such. Rest assured, Garrak hates her.
> 
> Please note that I haven't posted fic since my LiveJournal days, so if I've got my formatting messed up, I do apologize!

“Darling, I’m begging you-”

“No, I’ve let you off five times already this month! We had an agreement-”

“I know, dearest, but I’ve had such an exhausting day and there are still piles of work left for me to deal with tomorrow.”

“Excuses, excuses. It’s your turn! Every odd day, we agreed.”

“‘Adi, stowee?”

Garak sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Bashir crossed his arms and grinned smugly. “See? Even Porran knows it’s your turn. Don’t you? You want yadik to read to you tonight?”

“‘Adi stowee!”

“Oh, alright little Po, since your Baba is being cruel, I suppose we can share a story.” Garak glared at Bashir as he followed their youngest child out of the kitchen and into the modest nursery down the hall.

When they reached the room, Porran picked up his pink blanket and draped it over himself, then tottered over to the large rocking chair in the corner and stood waiting expectantly. “Well, little one, what shall it be tonight?” Garak asked, perusing the small bookshelf.

“Ickie Bun.”

“Are you sure? I have it on good authority that you’ve heard that book no less than six times in the past fortnight. Surely it’s time for something new.”

“Ickie Bun.”

“What about Wompat, Wompat, Green Hesparat?”

“Ickie Bun!”

“Hmm… Don’t Let the Taspar Pilot the Galor-Class War Vessel? Or maybe The Very Hungry Regnar? Good Night State Archives?”

“Ickie Bun! Ickie Bun! Ickie Bun!” Porran stomped his foot and pouted. 

“Very well, if you insist, but you should know it is very unbecoming of a Cardassian to pout. I really shouldn’t be rewarding such behavior.” Garak pulled If You Give a Vole an Ikri Bun from the shelf and settled in the rocking chair. Plucking Porran from the ground and settling him on his own rather large stomach, Garak cracked open the well-loved Cardassian translation of an old Terran classic (or so Bashir told him - this was a bit outside the realm of their typical literature exchange fare). 

“If you give a vole an ikri bun, he’s going to want some rakasa juice,” Garak began, slowly rocking the chair. Porran stared intently at the illustrations as his father read, blanket secured in one claw with the thumb of his other in his mouth. “When you give him the rakasa juice, he’ll probably ask for a straw. When he’s finished…” Garak’s eyes felt rather heavy. The rocking motion really was quite soothing. “...he’ll probably… ask for… a…” Garak’s head drooped and his arms went slack. Porran stared after the book as it slowly slid down Garak’s stomach and off toward the floor.

“‘Adi,” Porran said, taking his thumb from his mouth and turning to Garak.

Garak let out an impressive snore.

“‘Adi.” Porran patted Garak lightly on the face. “‘Adi?” Porran grabbed a handful of Garak’s cheek and squeezed. “‘Adi!”

“Wha-? Oh! My dear, I seem to have dozed off, where was I? Ah, yes! He’ll probably ask for a tooth brush, so he can clean his teeth. When he cleans his teeth, he might notice a small cavity, so he’ll probably ask.. for your… dentist’s… contact… infor-” Garak’s head tipped back as he let out another snore.

Porran looked at his sleeping father and harumphed to himself. He slid carefully off Garak’s stomach back to the floor, still clinging to his blanket. He reached under the rocking chair to grab Kukalaka before marching out of the nursery and down the hallway to his elder siblings’ room, where he knew he’d find his Baba. 

“Harry got dressed and was just persuading a disgruntled Hedwig - Po, what are you doing out of the nursery? Where’s Yadik?” Bashir set aside the older children’s book and turned away from their bunk bed to scoop up little Porran. Aleena and Sekal were clearly rather irritated at having their own story time interrupted. 

“‘Adi sleep. No Ickie Bun.” 

“Ah, I see. Well, perhaps you’d like to join us for a little Harry Potter then, hmm? And who’s this you have here? Why, it’s our old friend Kukalaka! I happen to know that Kukalaka loves the Harry Potter stories, don’t you old chum?” Bashir nodded the battered old bear’s head in agreement. Porran’s face lit up in happiness. “Why don’t you join your big brother on the bottom bunk and we’ll pick up where we left off?” Once set down, Porran tottered to the bed, hefted Kukalaka up ahead of himself, and climbed the blanket with a surprising amount of speed and dexterity.

“Aww, Baba, Porran’s a gross baby!” Sekal complained. “He’s gonna drool all over my blankets!”

“He’ll do no such thing. He’s a very considerate child,” Bashir corrected. 

“Baba, keep reading! I want to know how Harry gets to school this time!” Aleena leaned over the edge of her upper bunk to peer at Porran and Sekal.

“Who cares how he gets there!? I wanna know what happens when he gets there! C’mon, Baba! Keep reading!”

“Alright, alright! Let’s continue, shall we?”

\---

“Ahem!” Bashir leaned against the door frame. Garak startled awake from his sleep in the rocking chair.

“Ah, my dearest, I apologize. I did try…”

“All three are asleep now. Sekal was even willing to share his bed with Porran. Speaking of, you will be pleased to know that Porran may be over his Ikri Bun phase.”

“Oh?” 

“Yes. I’ll move the first Harry Potter book onto the nursery bookshelf.”

“Surely not that fantastical drivel!”

“I’m afraid so. If you’d been able to stay awake, you might have been able to move on to the Children’s Illustrated Never Ending Sacrifice instead.”

“In any case, thank you for covering my shift, as it were.” 

“I’m sure you can make it up to me. Perhaps by reading me a story…” Bashir blushed slightly, rousing Garak’s attention.

“And what did you have in mind, my Julian?”

“Perhaps some of the more… salacious works of Iloja of Prim?” 

“I think that can be arranged; I appear to have caught a second wind.”


End file.
